Thursday, June 25, 2009

Mr. Truman Show

It was a sunny and really trafficky (I promise that is a word in LA) day in West Hollywood and I was getting hungry.  Although I only had an hour until a networking event I had to attend, I passed the only restaurant that I will eat at even when I am completely full - Real Food Daily.  It is vegan vegetarian and basically amazing.  I couldn't wait to take a bite into some hearty salisbury seitan... until Mr. Truman Show came and sat down at my table for 1.
"Can I sit here?  I don't have anyone to eat dinner with" a young man said as he sat down while I tried to say no while chewing a mouth full of vegetarian goodness.  "ummmm... sure, I guess." If I had known what was coming I would have booked it out of there STAT.  
Mr. Truman Show nervously looked around and said "you look like a nice girl.  I am glad to eat dinner with you and meet a nice girl.  Things haven't been so nice for me lately."  And then I go and open my big mouth to try and be the nurturing female that I am cursed to be at times.  "Well why is that sir?"  "Shhhhhh!!!"  he says while leaning closer to whisper over my food... "they are ALL around us!"  "Who is they?" I asked not believing that I was actually engaging in this conversation.  "The waiters, the people here eating - they are all part of the show..."  Then before I could get up and get out of this social nightmare he continued.  "You wouldn't believe the other day my parents told me they were in on it too.  Can you believe it?  I am 35 years old and this whole time I didn't know my parents were ACTORS!"
I mumbled something that was supposed to be sympathetic while motioning to the waitress to please bring me my check NOW so I could get the heck out of there.  When she came over to take my credit card he actually had the nerve to stop her and say "wait can you bring me some tofu strawberry cheesecake?  That stuff looks really good..."
I took back my credit card, threw her a $20 (I think my bill came to $12 but whatever) and yelled "nice to meet you" as I ran out the door, called my boyfriend half-hysterical and locked myself in the car as I drove out of crazy-ville.  
So now I am left thinking he either... (A) Just finished watching The Truman Show and was also missing a few brain cells (B) Was acting out on a crazy dare from friends in the restaurant (that should have been worth some big $$$) or (C) Thought that was a great pickup line?
True story - every bit...

2 comments:

Christa Jeanne said...

WOW, Erin - you have the best crazy guy stories! For the sake of all involved, I sincerely hope it was just a dare.

T-Ray said...

That is too funny! It just had to be a prank! I would still love to add your stories to my book that I hope to one day get published. You have classics.