I know it's been awhile, but after meeting Mr. "Yeah That Was My Hand on Your Knee" I had to blog blog blog. So here's the jist:
I was flying from Orange County to Denver for business. I was REALLY tired. The kind of tired that you are when you literally fall asleep on anything because you can't help it. Even in the middle seat of a crowded airplane. That middle seat sounded SO good as I boarded the plane and prepared for airplane slumber. That is until I met my worst nightmare - Mr. "Yeah That Was My Hand on Your Knee".
I try to be nice to everyone I meet so I said hello to the guy in the window seat (jealous). He seemed about my age and was nice looking with the new Dan Brown novel on his lap. Then it got weird. He said hello back and when I was situated in my seat started telling me this story about how his brother was on the plane about 5 rows behind us and they were in a huge fight because they had just finished a family intervention with him. After they caught him high on drugs and hanging out with a prostitute in a Los Angeles Denny's they decided it was too much. Now he was dreading his exit in Denver because his brother told him they were going to fight. Not having a lot of experience in this area and no advice to give I started yawning - a sign that I really wanted to go to sleep. Which I did while he was still talking about drugs and prostitutes.
Next thing I know there was this heavy weight on my left knee. I peeked my eyes opened and the guy had his hand fully on my knee like we were an old, comfortable, "we travel all the time together" couple. I thought maybe he fell asleep and his hand accidently fell to my knee but that was wishful thinking. The dude was totally awake.
I awkwardly pretended I was starting to wake up and moved around like I didn't know where I was. Thankfully he moved his hand and we got off the plane.
Crisis averted, right? I thought so too as I slipped through the Denver airport only to get a text message about 15 minutes after I got into my rental car from a number I knew I did not program into my phone. The text simply read "Yeah that was my hand on your knee. Let's hang out while you are in town."
First of all, yeah I knew that. Secondly, next time I am sitting on my phone when I fall asleep on an airplane.