Mr. Denny's Mint

Court is the best place to meet a guy. Or not. It could have been for me last week. The funny thing is that I had gotten a major chemical peel the night before and I looked like I got trapped in a tanning bed for 5 hours. But that still doesn't stop one guy. I made my way to Courtroom B and sat down with 50 other traffic violators, waiting to explain to the judge why the windows of my car were too "gangsta" tinted. Then I got tapped on my right shoulder by a 55-ish year old man holding a red and white mint that looked like it came from Denny's. It also looked like he had dragged it behind his car on the way there. He didn't ask me if I wanted it. He just showed it to me and dropped it on my lap. So is it crazy that I ate it to be nice? Yes. But I did anyway.
Meanwhile the man-look-a-like Bailiff was yelling at anyone that she could hear talking. "Shut up or I will shut you up" was the most common phrase I heard that day. So naturally I was scared and feeling awkward sitting next to Mr. Denny's-mint. Then it got worse. He leaned over and whispered, "can I ask you a personal question?" I immediately thought "no you idiot - that Bailiff is a large woman-man holding a gun - you can't ask me anything!". But of course I said "yeah, sure". Then he dropped it - "Do you have a boyfriend?" I looked at him like I was sorry I had to say it and nodded my head that yes in fact I do, sorry. So basically I lied in court. In my head. Kind of. And I am happy to say I didn't die or get sick from the trashed Denny's mint. So life is good.